The Story of Me

I am a wife, I am a mom, I am a grandmother–but I never knew who I was on my own, only who I was in relation to someone else–until just recently.

It took a near-complete breakdown 2 years ago for me to finally get the professional help I needed. I reached out for help as a result of someone sharing their own painful journey with me, but that is a story for a separate blog entry. I started working with my lifecoach at the end of March 2018. Over time it was discovered that I have suffered my whole life due to childhood trauma. I blame no one, as I know my parent’s did the best they could. But, ultimately I was raised being steeped in the constant stress of my parent’s very unhappy marriage, and it affected me greatly. I just did not know how much until now. Trauma symptoms are insidious, and will not stay suppressed indefinitely. I had endured a few intensely stressful situations, and I finally hit a rock-bottom of sorts, and just could not go on. For this, I am grateful, because it resulted in my receiving the care I so badly needed. I am working very hard on my healing, with my lifecoach, and I have made tremendous progress over the last two years. We are addressing complex PTSD, with elements of anxiety and depression. Through talk therapy, I am learning to recognize and manage my symptoms. I have added many tools to my toolbox, and am learning to use them effectively. I am eternally grateful to God for the opportunity to seek and find my healing, through hard work and commitment, and the endless support, encouragement and teaching from my lifecoach who I affectionately and will heretoforth refer to as LCL (LifeCoachLinda). I started this blog per her instruction, as part of my healing journey. She knows I am a writer, and that telling my story, getting my thoughts out of my head and into print, and even the process of organizing my thoughts, is therapeutic. I believe here I go!

I am a Jesus follower.
I am a wife: to Craig, for 35 years! I am Mom/Mom-in-love to 8: Christopher and Mary, Nicholas and Shayna, Katy and Andrew, Michael and Nicole
I am Gramma to 7: Ethan, Hazel, Prometheus, Caleb, Orion, Levi and Noah.
I am a woman pursuing healing and wholeness, and in recovery from a lifetime of codependency and people-pleasing. Authenticity and connection is of the utmost importance to me. I intend to use my voice to raise awareness of the stigma surrounding mental health issues, and the need to break them! This conversation should be OPEN and normalized. I hope to be a part of making that happen. I want people to know that they are seen, valued, and never alone.