I am a wife, I am a mom, I am a grandmother–but I never knew who I was on my own, only who I was in relation to someone else–until just recently.
It took a near-complete breakdown 2 years ago for me to finally get the professional help I needed. I reached out for help as a result of someone sharing their own painful journey with me, but that is a story for a separate blog entry. I started working with my lifecoach at the end of March 2018. Over time it was discovered that I have suffered my whole life due to childhood trauma. I blame no one, as I know my parent’s did the best they could. But, ultimately I was raised being steeped in the constant stress of my parent’s very unhappy marriage, and it affected me greatly. I just did not know how much until now. Trauma symptoms are insidious, and will not stay suppressed indefinitely. I had endured a few intensely stressful situations, and I finally hit a rock-bottom of sorts, and just could not go on. For this, I am grateful, because it resulted in my receiving the care I so badly needed. I am working very hard on my healing, with my lifecoach, and I have made tremendous progress over the last two years. We are addressing complex PTSD, with elements of anxiety and depression. Through talk therapy, I am learning to recognize and manage my symptoms. I have added many tools to my toolbox, and am learning to use them effectively. I am eternally grateful to God for the opportunity to seek and find my healing, through hard work and commitment, and the endless support, encouragement and teaching from my lifecoach who I affectionately and will heretoforth refer to as LCL (LifeCoachLinda). I started this blog per her instruction, as part of my healing journey. She knows I am a writer, and that telling my story, getting my thoughts out of my head and into print, and even the process of organizing my thoughts, is therapeutic. I believe her..so here I go!